


Two Hundred and Forty Seconds

by Soul Sistah Slash (Batagur)



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: First Time, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-06
Updated: 2015-09-08
Packaged: 2018-04-19 07:18:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,425
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4737563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Batagur/pseuds/Soul%20Sistah%20Slash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Rodney compresses four days into four minutes to live a reality with Carson</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Part One

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own them or anything Stargate and I am not doing this for profit  
> Notes: Not beta read.  
> Part one is rated Teen. However, the rest of the story is Explicit.

The stasis chambers were very much like the stasis pods on the Aurora. They had a neural interface to help keep a mind stuck in long stasis healthy and active. They could offer many alternate realities, programmed in to simulate normal life and living with varying degrees of accuracy and intellectual challenge. They could draw upon the user’s own memories to help fill in small gaps in scene and substance. Without that intense level of dynamic interface, the machine would spit out dreamscapes as surreal as anything a subconscious could make. Unless you were into dreamscape escapism, the program was a nice sedate alternate reality that could offer problem solving and tasking opportunities to keep the mind fit and alert. 

Rodney had often considered using one as an alternative to a traditional vacation. One could step in for three or four minutes and live a whole two weeks on some sunny, white sand Caribbean beach or camping in Yosemite, or Surfing in Hawaii. When he explained it to Sheppard he had pretty much fired back the closest analogy his mind could wrap itself around.

“Like ‘Total Recall’ and the Holodeck combined,” he had said. 

“More like ‘Total Recall’ than the Holodeck,” Rodney had explained while trying to hold back the annoyed sigh. “Holodecks are conscious experiences with objects created to fool the individual into believing the scenarios given. This is more like planting the experience into the conscious mind.”

“Yeah, I get it. I wake up and I think my name is Hauser and I have to ‘Get my ass to Mars.’”

“Funny.” Rodney said contemptuously.

When Rodney first discussed the opportunity in a senior staff meeting, he received luke-warm acceptance at best. No one seemed all that excited to take a four minute vacation even though the energy output for it was minimal in comparison to the juggernaut extended stays of other stasis survivors they had known. As it was deemed not all that appealing, the whole idea was dropped. Rodney thought very little about it again.

That is, he didn’t need to think about it again until he got Carson back.

No one else seemed half as excited to get Carson back and that included Carson himself. Once he found out he was only a copy, Carson seemed resigned to relinquish the life he thought he once knew as his own. It seemed as if he felt he didn’t deserve to continue the living of the person everyone else had known as Carson Beckett. But that he was a copy hadn’t mattered to Rodney. Even if he was a clone, he was every bit as much Carson Beckett as Carson Beckett had ever been. And Rodney, for one, was overjoyed to have his best friend back. 

Rodney wondered, if Carson had survived, how he would have taken meeting himself. This wasn’t like Rod from another dimension. Rod had been different than Rodney in personality. This Carson was Carson. He was a complete Carson with only a couple of year’s gap in his experiences. 

Still, no one else seemed half as excited to get Carson back as Rodney, until they found out they were about to lose him again. That had brought it all home to them. Rodney watched how it affected them all. Sheppard got intense and awkward when he spoke about him. Ronan acted like a stubborn child trying to avoid something that he knew would only break his heart. To have this happen as they were all so very stressed about Teyla and her people seem unnecessarily cruel. 

Rodney wondered what Teyla would have thought of having Carson back. She was always so very careful, but also so very caring. He wonder if she would have cried and touched her forehead to Carson’s before they placed him in the chamber.

Rodney had offered Carson the chance to enjoy the neural interface while he was waiting in stasis. Rodney had uploaded a few options he thought Carson would find pleasant. But Carson had only smiled fatalistically and assure Rodney he would be fine. Then he had offered Rodney the chance to truly say goodbye. In that brief moment Rodney remembered the day Carson had died. He had never got a chance to see him again, something he had always taken for granted. He had never had a chance to tell him… everything. On that day, Rodney had experience the numb denial of grief. The day after, when he volunteered to take Carson’s remains home to his mother, he had still been numb. He had shed tears at the funeral only because it hurt him to see Carson’s sweet, little mother so very heartbroken. But she had been surrounded by Carson’s younger brothers. His sympathy and support were superfluous. 

It hadn’t hit him until the day after he got back, and Carson was still gone. He would never talk to him again, or make him miserable by forcing him to listen to him brain storm during lunch, or call his work pseudoscience, or make him laugh by pretending not to get the sarcasm thrown at him by Sheppard. Carson would never get to hear everything he had to say. 

Rodney still wanted everything, and that moment for a goodbye Carson was offering at the threshold of the stasis chamber was not everything. It couldn’t be. How could fate be so truly twisted as to give him this second chance only to pull it away at the last second?

_“Life isn’t fair, Rodney.”_ He could hear the words play in his mind in Carson’s thoughtful tone. But that day he had made Carson understand, it had to be ‘See ya later.’

Carson had reassured Rodney that he would be fine in stasis, but he didn’t forbid him the opportunity to let him have some neural stimulation. And truth be told, Rodney was overdue for a vacation… even a four minute one. 

The stasis gallery had many modules at different states of disrepair and Rodney had tried to fix and prepped several over the past few months just for emergencies. However, there was one, the one that sat back to back with Carson’s on the other side of the gallery wall that he had taken extra special care of. It was easier to combine the two neural nets due to the proximity. 

Some thirty miles from Loch Tay, deep in the highlands of Perthshire where the heather flowers grew pinkish purple on the foothills, there was a small rustic cottage near a river that ran to the loch. It looked rustic but Rodney knew that it had all the modern conveniences. It also had all the gear, tackle, supplies and clothing that he and Carson would need for a relaxing fishing vacation. It was perfect. Well, it would be perfect for Carson, Rodney thought as he triple checked the program parameters. He wanted it to be perfect for Carson. Rodney wasn’t much of a fan of fishing and hunting and all those other rugged type activities that most of the boys in his high school class in Calgary were into. It didn’t help that Rodney, although not scrawny, was rather bookish and more into math than bagging elk. His parents had refused to let him or Jennie skip grades although they had been capable and qualified. His father had been more concerned with their social development than their current level of education. 

His father had had the best of intentions, of course. Rodney forgave him for it. Rodney smiled to himself as he wondered if Carson would forgive him for having the best intentions. Well, Carson hadn’t really made it clear that he didn’t want the virtual reality.

The program and the chamber were ready. There was a failsafe in place for any emergency. All he had to do was think his safe word and he would come out. It would also cause a break in the simulation for Carson, although he would remain in stasis. It was ten PM on a Sunday evening. No one should need him or miss him for four lousy minutes. He stepped inside and turned about facing outward. He took one last breath before he settled his head back against the neural net sensors. This action keyed the program to begin. The world slowly faded out in a white frosted flash going opaque to nothing.

Then it faded back in with shades of green so vibrant and true, it was incredible. Rodney marveled at the sensory accuracy as he breathed in the fresh, earthy morning air filled with the smells of water, forest, and flowers. He took in one deep breath and smiled. Before him was a little copses, that stretched in a line following the river that flowed back to Loch Tay. Just beyond were green hills patched in vibrant heather finery like the pattern of a lady’s fine dress. The sky was heartbreakingly blue, filled with the puffiest white cloud a person could imagine and the air was crisp like springtime. He breathed it in again feeling more alive than ever he had in any virtual world. He knew that behind him was the cabin.

“Rodney?”

Rodney stilled, hearing that familiar voice just paces behind between him and the cabin. He didn’t sound upset or angry nor did he sound alarmed. The question hung there spoken in Carson’s calm tone. Rodney turned to face him. 

Carson stood there, barefoot and wearing the infirmary issue white pajamas. He just stood there, looking at Rodney, unmoving. He frowned in the concerned-Carson way that made his eyes more intense looking. 

“Hey,” Rodney said with a small, apologetic wave that never reached past his waist. 

“What’s all this, then?”

“Ah… this is a virtual fishing trip!” Rodney announced trying to sound much more cheerful and positive. He clasped his hands together in a gesture of accomplishment as he looked around.

“And you?” Carson asked cautiously.

“Oh no, my friend, not virtual,” he announced proudly. “I’m really here… with you. Well here in the since that my mind is sharing the virtual experience with yours.”

Carson managed to look nonplused and disapproving at the same time. Quite an accomplishment.

“Do you like it?” Rodney said, more to get Carson’s mind off of whatever was making him look like that than anything else. He should have known it wouldn’t work. Carson was not easily distracted. 

“Rodney,” he said with a sigh. “You didn’t have to do this for me, I told you. I’ll be fine. Don’t waste any more of the city’s power on me.”

Rodney stood there thinking long and hard about the answer he was about to give Carson. He knew he had to. It was the truth and it meant something to him. He just hoped Carson would understand. 

“I didn’t do it all for you…” He faltered on the words. He hated being vulnerable, but he wasn’t the emotional cripple Sheppard could be at times. He forged ahead because he knew he should. “I did it for me too.”  
Slowly, a corner of Carson’s mouth lifted into a small smile that lit his eyes and eased away the worried frown. Seeing that, Rodney smiled back, bouncing happily on the balls of his feet. He should have known better. Carson always understood him. He understood him better than anyone in two galaxies.

“Now,” Rodney asked again, “do you like it?”

Carson looked about himself, looking back over his shoulder at the cottage and then past Rodney to the stream and the hills beyond the tree-line. 

“Perthshire,” he breathed out as he took it all in.

“I told you I had this already in the data base,” Rodney explained cheerfully. “An extended four day weekend of fishing and relaxing and…”

“Steady on there,” Carson interrupted reprovingly. “Four days? Can you afford to be away from your duties for that long? Last I heard things were pretty bloody dire. I can’t irresponsibly allow the city’s chief scientist go on a four day virtual fishing trip.”

Rodney laughed with a slightly hint of conceit as he approached the man. “That’s the beauty of this virtual fishing trip. It’s only going to take approximately two hundred and forty seconds in real time.” 

Carson stood dumbfounded.

“That’s four minutes,” Rodney said with a smile and he patted Carson’s shoulder as he passed. He then marched purposefully towards the cabin. “Are you hungry?” he said as he continued up to the door. “I’m starved!”

“Rodney!” he heard Carson say on the end of a long-suffering sigh.

The cabin door was unlocked and it squeaked ever so slightly on its hinges as Rodney pushed it open. The sound made for a comforting charm effect in the structure. It looked clean and comfortable in the mid-morning light that streamed through the open door and a window off of the main room. There was a plush, over-stuffed sofa upholstered in a calm mocha color with a dark green throw blanket that just begged to be napped on. There were also two nice comfy looking easy chairs situated near a sturdy fire place with a brick mantle and an iron grate and a polished lattice screen. Two ottomans sat before the chairs and side tables with lamps sat close next to them.

A tall brass lamp stood next to the doorway. Rodney reached over to the wall switch and flipped it. Nothing happened. 

“Hm…” He flipped it a few more times as Carson reached him standing in the doorway. “Suppose to have electricity…” Rodney muttered.

Carson pushed past him and looked the lamp up and down. He then stooped down and plugged it in to a wall socket. Standing again, Carson flipped the light switch. The light came on. Carson then treated Rodney to a withering look.

“Bloody Genius,” Carson said as he turned to come further in. 

Rodney walked in and turned to the kitchenette with its clean counters and small table with space enough for two. The refrigerator looked like an antique with its rounded edges and it front ornament that looked like it belonged on the hood of a Cadillac. It was a pale teal that matched the counters. Rodney grabbed hold of the front handle and yanked to unlatch it. It opened and the light turned on cheerfully over enough food to feed a rugby team. It was fully stocked.

“Yes!” Rodney said gleefully as he surveyed lay of the refrigerator land. He then started grabbing cold-cuts and condiments. With his face still in the fridge, he gestured down the counter with his free hand as he continued to look for more items to build a sandwich. 

“I think there is a bread box down there, Carson,” he said with a wave of his hand.

“I think so,” Carson replied. “Yes, there is bread.”

Rodney looked up to see Carson at that end of the counter with an open bread box that held a sliced loaf.

“Excellent!” Rodney exclaimed as he set a tomato down next to the other sandwich fixings.

“Am I about to spend a whole weekend in my bloody pajamas watching you stuff your pie-hole with sandwiches?” Carson complained.

Rodney frowned suddenly. “No. For starters, Doubting Doctor, there are clothes for you in your room,” he pronounced haughtily. “Also, you should find in there all the tackle and gear for a nice fishing vacation. You have a river right outside this front door and hip waders.”

“And what about you, Rodney? You are honestly going to go fishing with me this time. I’ve only asked twice…”

“Five times,” Rodney corrected.

“And you have always said no.”

“Not exactly,” Rodney said. 

“Oh, I suppose you told the other me yes once?”

“Well not completely.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“You gave me a two week warning the last time,” Rodney explained.

“Then you said yes,” Carson extrapolated.

“Well, until something else came up,” Rodney replied quickly, trying not to look shame-faced. “Look, that doesn’t matter now, Carson. I want to spend time with you, now. I want to go fishing with you now.”

“You are serious,” Carson said softly.

“Of course I am,” Rodney replied. “I’ve… I really miss you.”

Carson’s expression softened again. “I missed you too. All that time Michael kept me prisoner, I worried about you.”

“Really?” Rodney asked feeling his mouth twist into a little, hopeful smile.

“I wondered if you were keeping a handle on your blood pressure and if you were watching your blood sugar. But now I know that I needn’t have worried.” Carson gave a rueful smile and looked away. 

“Hey,” Rodney said in a gentler tone. “Doesn’t matter now. We’re fishing… Have you seen a knife?” He began to open random kitchen drawers. He looked up again in time to see Carson shaking his head with a small tolerant smile.

“I’m going to change,” he said and walked off towards the hall near the main room.

Rodney found a knife in a draw near the sink. “Yeah, you do that.”

~  
By the time Carson came back out dressed in a dark gray v neck shirt and jeans, Rodney was nearly finished with his first sandwich and contemplating making a second.  
“Are we fishing next?” Rodney asked around a mouth full of cold cut sandwich as Carson came over to the refrigerator.

“No,” he said as he opened the door. “We only just got here. I need a little time to wrap my head around this.” He pulled out a bottled water. “I see we have beer,” he added.

“Yeah,” Rodney replied. “We should have wine and a fully stocked bar too… I thought we should…”

He put down the rest of his sandwich at the table and went to the cabinets. It took only two tries before he pulled open the one jam-pack filled with booze bottles. “See!” he exclaimed.

“Great,” Carson said flatly. “We can get totally bollocks pissed.”

“I just wanted to make sure we had everything and anything we needed to make this a good vacation.”

Carson opened his water and took a drink. “I really do appreciate the effort you put into this Rodney. It’s very nice.”

“Do you want a sandwich?”

“No,” Carson replied. “No thank you. I think I want to go for a walk for a while.”

“Oh, um… do you want…” Rodney rounded the table in an effort to join him.

“No, Rodney, you stay here and finish your sandwich. I’ll be fine.”

~  
Rodney did know what to expect when he stepped into the stasis chamber. Well, he knew what to expect technically in the sense of physiological effects and neurological changes, but what to expect from Carson had been a bit of a wild card. He had hoped Carson would be just as glad to see him as he was to see Carson. Watching Carson walk out the door without him had made his heart sink a little. 

What did he do wrong? Was it the fishing? He knew Carson had had his heart set on fishing for a giant space trout while they were on Lantea. Were regular ol’ earth trout not as exciting? Maybe it was because this was home for Carson. Maybe he should have made it some place exotic. Maybe it should have been sword fishing in Key West, or fly fishing in Colorado, or ice fishing in the Arctic Circle.

Rodney cleaned up after his meal and went out the door. The afternoon was bright and Carson was nowhere near by. Rodney considered looking for him, but then thought better of it. Carson would be back. In the meantime, Rodney looked around the cottage. He found the out building where the generator chugged on, suppling the house with electricity. It ran on petrol and the tank looked to be over three quarters full. Rodney made a mental note to himself to check it daily. He was certain there was more petrol close by. That had to be a given.

It was mid-afternoon when Carson returned. He walked through the door just as Rodney was trying to assemble a fishing rod. Amazingly enough, he wasn’t doing a great job of it.

“Hey,” Rodney looked up from his task and said.

“Hello,” Carson replied. He then stared at what Rodney was up to. “What are you doing?”  


"Hm, well, it would appear to be putting this pole together.”

Carson smiled, then chuckled. “Rather unsuccessfully.”

Rodney frowned as he looked at the tangled mess before him. “It’s a fishing pole. How hard can it be? Especially for someone with an IQ as high as mine?”

“Apparently it’s a down right bastard of an enigma.” Carson came over to the table and sat down across from him. “Put the silly thing down, Rodney.” 

Rodney pushed the pole aside with a sober glance at Carson. “Never did get the hang of fishing anyway. Standing with your feet wet waiting for a fish to trap itself on a hook on a string…”

“Then why are you here?” Carson asked. He wasn’t chuckling any more but he wasn’t upset or suspicious either. He just looked at Rodney with that straightforward-Carson-gaze. It was the one gaze Rodney knew came with a side order of thoughtfulness and understanding.

“I told you,” he said simply. “I missed you. You hungry yet? I cut up a tomato and there is lettuce and cheese…”

“No, I’m not hungry yet.” Carson shook his head with a soft smile.

“Ok, um… How was your walk?” Rodney asked, wanting to keep the subject changed. 

“It was lovely,” Carson replied. “Just how I remembered it. You know, my da use to take me and my brothers out driving down this way. He was the one who taught me how to fish.”

“Oh, really?”

“We were wee lads at the time. The twins couldn’t even bait their own hooks. I really don’t think da wanted them to try. Dougie was accident prone and Jamie was just ready to indulge accidents….”  
Carson stopped and looked at Rodney.

“What?” Rodney blinked as he looked back.

“This is where you interrupt me and tell me you really are not interested in hearing some inane nonsense about my childhood fishing trips.”

“That’s ridiculous,” Rodney protested. “Now if you had launched into that story back on Atlantis while I was trying to think of something important, maybe I would have.”

Carson snorted and started to get up from his seat.

“Wait,” Rodney asked, raising a finger to forestall his departure. “You don’t understand…” he cleared his throat looking a little nervous. “I want to hear what you have to say.”

“Seriously,” Carson looked skeptical but he sat back down. They looked at each other for a moment longer; then Rodney finally spoke.

“I always thought that I would have you around… Then one day I didn’t… It… It changed my life in ways I’m still trying to understand.”

“What is this trip really, Rodney?” Carson asked softly. 

“It’s two hundred and forty seconds to feel better,” he said looking Carson directly in the eye. “Are you sure you don’t want something to eat? Because I’m about to start drinking and I think you want me to make you a sandwich while I’m sober.”

“I can make my own sandwich, thank you,” Carson said as he got up from the table. He went to the refrigerator and began to pull out the sandwich ingredient again. “Would you like a beer?”

“Well, since you are right there,” Rodney replied.

Carson pulled out two beers and uncapped them both against the edge of the counter using a swift hit with the heel of his hand.

“You’ll scratch the counters!” Rodney scolded.

“That’s how you open a beer in Aberfeldy,” Carson said with a look of satisfaction. He laughed at Rodney’s appalled expression. “What? Afraid we won’t get the deposit back on the virtual reality rental?”

Carson then deposited an open beer before Rodney. Before Rodney could grab it and get the first sip, Carson was back from the fridge, placing six more unopened beers on the table in a line. He went back to the counter to continue building his sandwich.

Rodney looked back at him. “Won’t those get warm?” He pointed at the neat row of bottles.

“You’ve been hanging around Colonel Sheppard too long. Beer was never meant to be ice cold.”

“You know, it’s not just an American thing. It’s a Canadian thing too.”

“Cellar temperature is the correct coldness of beer,” Carson replied.

“And you expect us to drink those before they go beyond cellar temperature and into room temperature?”

“Aye.”

“You, my friend, are ambitious.”

“Always have been.” Carson turned back to the counter to complete the stacking of his sandwich. “Should I put the sandwich fixing away then?”

Rodney thought about it over a long swallow of beer. “No,” he replied. “I could eat again.”

And Rodney did. They both did. There were many trips to the counter to make another sandwich and Carson slammed open bottle after bottle of beer for the both of them. Meanwhile, Rodney regaled him with Atlantis happenings and mission highlights.

“And how is Jennifer holding up?” Carson asked.

“She’s doing very well,” Rodney replied. “She’s really stepped up to the challenge.”

“I knew she was a good choice the day I interviewed her. Fine lass. Very smart.”

“Yeah, well that last batch we brought in were far better over all,” Rodney commented. “But you knew that.”

“Well tell me somethings I don’t know… like… like how is that thing you had going with Katie Brown?”

Rodney felt his face fall into a frown and he knew that is what stilled Carson in apprehension.

“She’s okay, isn’t she?”

“She’s fine,” Rodney replied, recovering his expression into something more cheery. He cleared his throat and took a long swig of his… third? Maybe forth beer? “We sort of broke it off a little while after you died.”

“That’s too bad. I’m sorry, Rodney.” Carson got up and went to the fridge. When he returned, he lined up six fresh beers before them  
.  
Rodney looked at the table before them. It was starting to get crowded by more empty bottles than full bottles.

“But you say that as if my death had something to do with it,” Carson said as he took his seat again.

“No!” That was Rodney’s knee jerk response. “Yes… no… yes and no.” He sighed as he thought about what he was saying. Leave it to Carson to cut to the chase. From the first, Rodney felt as if he was really there to face something. He wasn’t sure, but he also felt as if Carson sensed that. It certainly felt as if he had been pushing him to open up and explain himself. Well, maybe it was the beer, but Rodney felt a little ready.

He rubbed his eyes briefly and grabbed a new beer. It wasn’t open. He tried to open it Carson’s way.

“OW!” Rodney pulled his hand back to his chest and stomped a foot as he rode out the pain.

“Rodney,” Carson said patiently and extended a hand toward him silently. Rodney handed Carson his injured hand. Carson looked it over briefly. “Put a cold beer on it,” he suggested. “Now give me the beer.”  
“Oh,” Rodney said and handed the unopen bottle over. 

With a swift downward slam, Carson had the top off in a jiff. He handed the cold bottle back over.

“Now, you were saying about Katie.”

Rodney sighed as he realized he wasn’t getting out of this one. “The day you died, I was supposed to go fishing with you. I ditched out to spend the day with Katie.”

Carson nodded in understanding.

“You don’t get it yet,” Rodney explain. “It’s worse than that, really.”

“There is nothing wrong with wanting to spend time with a lovely woman like…”

“See, you don’t get it,” Rodney complained. “I sought Katie out and practically begged her to be my excuse. Then I misled her on my intentions.”

“That’s all rot, Rodney. You didn’t do any of that I’m sure.”

“You wound up not going fishing. You stayed and took Dr. Cole’s shift. Then you got blown up.” Rodney took another deep drink. 

“It wasn’t your fault,” Caron said softly. 

“Might as well have been,” Rodney replied. “When I tried to make good with Katie, I realized I was just doing it out of displaced guilt. The whole thing put a kibosh on any relationship Katie and I had left.”

“I’m sorry…”

“Don’t be,” Rodney said dejectedly. “You weren’t the shumuck who couldn’t make a little time for his best friend in the whole universe… And then I pat myself on the back because I can make the time at last by compacting four days into four minutes.” He put his beer down. “I got so damn lucky, Carson! I got you back.”

Rodney looked away. He couldn’t look into Carson’s intense yet kind gaze anymore.

“It’s pretty complicated.” Rodney heard Carson say. “I’m not the Carson that died, but I know… we wouldn’t want you to feel guilty, not for any of it. Not the change of plans, not the lost relationship, and certainly not for wanting to spend time with me, here and now.”

It was quiet after that as Rodney let Carson’s words sink in. 

“Hey,” Carson said, catching his attention again. He stood up from the table. “Let’s go.”

“Where?” Rodney asked.

“Outside. Just come on.”

It was dark out now. Rodney followed Carson out the door. They stepped down from the entryway and out into the clear night. The sky was brilliant with stars. Carson stopped about twenty feet from the cabin and looked up into the sky. Rodney came to stand next to him.

“This is where I learned to dream,” Carson said.

A meteor streaked across the sky leaving a fast burning trail of light. 

“It’s a beautiful place,” Rodney said as he watched the stars as they twinkled over the distant hills.

“I’m glad you chose to come share it with me,” Carson said to Rodney.

Rodney looked at him and smiled.


	2. Part Two

~  
Rodney woke up face down on a bed. He was only dressed in a tee shirt and boxer, and he had only a vague idea how he got there. His head felt full of cotton and for a brief moment he forgot that he was in virtual reality. The virtual hang-over was that convincing. 

“Well, that was stupid” he muttered into the pillow.

The bed room was roomy and nice with a regular bed and nice, simple furnishings. The bed itself was a little firmer than he would have liked it, but it didn’t matter now. He began to drag himself into a seated position, but he did it slowly. He could tell his head was about give him hell for the alcohol soaking.

“Why?” he asked the virtual program in general. But he knew the answer. It was programmed to give him as real a reality as his mind would accept. Drink - pass out - hangover. That was the logical progression in real experience.

He hazily remembered when he and Carson came back in for the night after carrying their little party outside. Carson had brought out the beers, but he had found a bottle opener. That was good, because Carson had said, if he couldn’t find one, he would have to start opening them with his teeth.

“In the traditional highland manner, no doubt,” Rodney had replied. They had laughed and Rodney had learned something new about Carson. He had been quite the champion drinker in his collage undergraduate years.

They finally called it a night and Rodney had found his bedroom where he dropped trousers and stripped to his tee shirt and boxers and literally fell face first on the bed.

Rodney stood carefully and gasped as the pain in his head gave him one good throb. With a disgruntled frown and a low growl, he went out the door of his bedroom and wandered down the wood paneled hall to the bathroom. There, he stood before the toilet taking what he considered the epic piss of his life. He cursed under his breath as the pee shivers gave his headache a new reason to throb.

“Rodney? Is that you in the loo?”

Carson’s voice sounded entirely too cheerful.

“Who the hell else would it be,” Rodney growled back through the door and then winced as his shout only exacerbated his condition.

“Breakfast is on,” Carson continued in that same cheerful tone. “Come and get it!”

“What the fuck?” Rodney complained to himself. Carson had clearly consumed more beers than Rodney. And although Rodney knew he wasn’t as accomplished a drinker as Carson suggested he had been in his youth, Carson still didn’t have the right to be completely functional after that binge.

Rodney wondered out to the kitchen, still in his tee shirt and boxers. He had taken a moment after his daily voiding to at least splash some water on his face after he washed his hands.

“You look terrible,” Carson pronounced. He was already dressed for the day in a navy blue polo and khakis. He looked too fresh faced and bright eyed to be true.

“Thank you, Doctor Obvious. So glad to know my physician can see when I look like hell’s porta-potty. Have you been manipulating the program?” Rodney eyed him suspiciously. 

“How in the bloody hell would I do that?” Carson replied. 

Rodney put a hand to his throbbing forehead. “I don’t know… I suppose like taking control of a dream… or something.”

“Sit down, Rodney,” Carson said gently. “That hang over is going to make you a bear on wheels unless we do something about it now.”

“How do you not have one?” Rodney asked annoyed, but he did sit down at the kitchen table.

“By doing last night what you are about to do now,” Carson replied simply. He then went to a cabinet and retrieved something that made a rattle noise. After that he went to the refrigerator and took out a full liter bottle of water. After a moment more at the counter he turned around slapping two tablets on the table before Rodney and sitting the water beside it. 

“Drink all the water,” Carson commanded. “It’ll be doing the bulk of the work on that hangover.”

Rodney did not object, he simply swallowed the two aspirin and opened the water bottle and washed them down with a massive swig. 

“Now, the best thing for you is some fresh air and sunshine,” Carson pronounced cheerfully.

“I seriously fucking hate you right now,” Rodney muttered.

“But first, some breakfast.” Carson turned about and went to the stove. He opened the oven where he was obviously keeping something warm, like breakfast. The plate he pulled out had an obscene amount of pancakes and bacon on it. Rodney’s eyes lit up with hope.

It was breakfast heaven on a platter and Carson sat it down in the center of the table. Rodney wondered how he had missed the smell of the bacon frying that morning. Normally he could smell bacon frying from two miles away. Carson put two empty plates on the table and sat a fork and knife before Rodney.

“I fucking love you.” Rodney amended his assessment as he grab a plate and speared three pancakes off the platter with his fork.

~  
Carson fixed the fishing rod that Rodney had made into a tangle. He then put it in Rodney’s hands. It was mid-morning.

“Isn’t it a little late for fishing?” Rodney asked as he followed Carson to the river.

Carson was clad in hip waders and pocketed vest. He was geared to go with his rod and tackle box. Rodney followed behind holding only the extra rod and a cooler with snacks.

“Not if you know where to fish,” Carson explained. “It’s spring, and the fish are extra hungry. You just have to set your line out towards the shade.”

“OK.” Rodney muttered as he frowned, pushing onward. 

“You don’t have to come, Rodney,” Carson said back to him. “You can go back.”

“Oh no,” Rodney replied severely. “No, no, no, no! I said I would come fishing with you. We are going fishing.”

Carson chuckled and shook his head. They walked on for a bit longer.

“Do you think I’m callous?” Rodney asked in a milder tone.

“What? Callous? No,” he answered.

“See, I know you’re lying.” Rodney replied scornfully. 

“How is that?”

“You thought I didn’t care what happened to Ronan because I called him a few nicknames.”

“What?” Carson stopped and looked at Rodney confused. 

Rodney stopped as well and looked a little contrite. “Well, not you, per se.”

“Ah, the other me,” Carson said, giving Rodney a brief look of dissatisfaction. “What nicknames are these?”

“Well… um… Neanderthal, I’m sure that was one of them,” Rodney replied.

“Yes, and?”

“And maybe something else that may have been a little disparaging and judgmental towards his genetics.”

“I can see where the other me may have been a little disapproving of that kind of thing,” Carson said. 

“Then you asked me if I even cared enough to have a conversation with him in the whole year he had been with us.”

“Well, he is a member of your team. I should hope you would at least have a few words together.”

“But that wasn’t all of it.” Rodney said. “It was that look. You know, the look you get.”

Carson shifted his weight as his brow drew together. His mouth tightened in a little oval of incredulity, and his blue eyes were shining in earnest disapproval.

“That’s it!” Rodney declared. “That’s the look right there!”

“Oh for bloody Christ sakes!”

“Well it is,” Rodney continued. “It’s that look you get when you think I’m being an obnoxious asshole.”

“I will admit, you have a tendency,” Carson accepted.

“It really hurt,” Rodney said suddenly and then was quiet. He looked down at the ground in front of him.

“You did tell me that I hurt your feelings, right?” Carson asked in a kinder tone.

“In a few words,” Rodney admitted.

“This was a bad fight, wasn’t it,” Carson guessed.

“I don’t know…” Rodney looked up at the trees and over to the river, everywhere but in to Carson’s face, into his eyes. “Maybe… I mean we talked afterward. Not about that though.”

“Do you need to talk about that, Rodney?” Carson’s voice was so caring that Rodney had to look into his eyes.

“It wasn’t you,” Rodney protested softly.

“It might as well have been me. It would have been me,” Carson replied. 

“You know, I don’t want to do this to you,” Rodney said.

“I don’t see how you can help it,” Carson said carefully. “You can’t separate the Carson Beckett you knew from the Carson Beckett you are now stuck with. It’s a reasonable thing.”

“It’s not very fair to you.”

“I don’t know that I get the luxury of deciding what is fair in this. I’m taking over for a life I never really lived.”

Those words crushed Rodney in a way he had not expected. He hurt inside his core for Carson. “No,” he said firmly. “You are Carson. I know it. I believe it. I never believed in the idea of souls before but I know the soul I knew as Carson Beckett is right here with me right now!”

“In a virtual reality of Scotland,” Carson said with a gentle lilt of amused irony.

“Yes!” Rodney said with conviction. “This doesn’t matter.” He waved his hand in a gesture taking in their surroundings. Rodney suddenly looked fierce. He pointed a finger at him. “You told me your father taught you how to fish.”

“Aye, I did.”

“You never told me that before, even after Michael. I didn’t know that.”

“Memories Michael put in my head,” Carson replied remorsefully. “He had to get the whole package to get to the bits he needed.”

“No,” Rodney said angrily. “No! You are in there. I know you are… I guess you were just big souled enough to exist in two of you for a while.”

For a second, Carson looked as if he was going to tell Rodney he was daft and try to smooth it over by suggesting they just fish and forget it. Then something in Carson’s eyes changed. He smiled gently at his friend.

“Maybe,” he said. Carson smiled at him. “You are not callous, Rodney. You are a good friend.”

Rodney sighed a little in relief.

~  
Rodney spent the day watching Carson fail to catch a single fish. And they talked. Rodney let Carson finish the story about how his father taught him and his brothers how to fish. In return Carson listened when Rodney said, “My dad forced us on a camping trip once. I think he thought it would do us some good. He wanted to expose us to nature.”

“That sounds like a decent thing,” Carson said.

“It was miserable.” Rodney frowned sourly at the memory. “I got sunburn. Jeannie got poison ivy. We woke up in the middle of the night and looked out the rental camper in time to witness one of my parents more spectacular fights. Dad stomped off into the woods and mom threw his hiking boots onto the campfire.”

“Oh, I'm sorry.” Carson reeled in his line as he watched Rodney on the shore. He wadded out of the shallows to join him.

“Don’t be. On the up side, we never went camping again. I was relieved. I think Jeannie was too.”

“Did your parents fight often?” Carson asked.

“Well, I don’t know what constitutes as often. They had a number of really good screaming matches; that is for sure.”

“Well, they stayed together,” Carson said in consolation.

Rodney gave him a small smile tainted with regret. “Actually… They died in a car accident in February of my sophomore year as an undergrad. It was really icy out on the roads. Dad had an office party. It was a company thing, so I think he thought he couldn’t get out of it. Mom and Dad were not all that social. He and mom went out on Friday night, hit a patch of black ice and never came home.”

He looked up at Carson who was looking at him with eyes deep with empathy.

“Jeannie was just a senior in high school, but she was pretty mature. Back then she had a plan. She knew what she was going to do. When we were going through our parents things, we found the divorce papers. It would have been final in May. I think they were just waiting for Jeannie to graduate.”

“They probably thought it would be better for the two of you,” Carson said.

“Well, it was a pretty misguided thought,” Rodney said with a gloomy chuckle. “I spent my entire childhood watching them hate each other. My aunt Kelly, my mom’s closest friend, once said watching them fight is where I learned all of my best people skills.”

“Rodney,” Carson said emphatically. He then grabbed him by his shoulder. “Let’s go back to the house and get you something proper to eat.”

~  
Later that evening, as the stars began to make their appearance in the darkening sky, Carson found two lawn chairs and sat them outside in front of the cottage. He guided Rodney to one and he took the other. He had with him a full bottle of Glenfarclas and two glasses.

“Oh, I see. We are graduating up,” Rodney said as he accepted a glass from Carson.

“This is a different kind of drinking,” Carson explain. “You nurse these. You don’t slam them down in one go… unless you are really bad off.” Carson poured two fingers worth of the scotch whiskey into Rodney’s glass.

The night was clear and the air smelled crisp and clean with the fresh moisture of the river. The stars were coming out brighter and brighter over the heather covered hills and Rodney sipped at the whiskey, feeling the burn of it on his tongue and against his palate. He remembered the two moons over Lantea. Here on this virtual earth, the springtime moon was small and bright making its way around as it waxed. Venus hung low and bright in the western sky. After this vacation, he wouldn’t see this sky again for quite some time, unless he called it up in the planetarium. Another virtual sky. When he thought of it that way, it really didn’t matter what he was seeing now.

But he looked over next to him and saw Carson, face tilted up and eyes shining bright in the growing starlight. He looked so noble and kind and a hundred other nice things Rodney knew were all true. What he was most of all, right here, right now was accessible. He wondered what Carson was dreaming of now. Carson said he learned to dream looking at this sky.

“What are you thinking about?” Rodney shocked himself when he asked the question out loud. He normally didn’t pry into other people feelings. He knew he was rotten at things like understanding and empathy so he tried to avoid it as much as possible. But Rodney knew that this, this moment and that question was part of the ‘everything’ he so needed from his friend.

Carson looked over at him only a little surprised, but then he smiled. “My mum,” he answered. “I was wondering what she was up to right now, and if I could find a car, could I drive out and see her… at least a virtual her, I suppose.”

“She’s probably asleep, and I don’t think the program’s parameters will let us go too far from this area.”

“Ah well.” Carson smiled and looked back up at the sky. “She’s probably awake. She has always been a bit of a night owl. Made it tough for us boys to steal out in the middle of the night. She kept us in line.”

“I meant most of your brothers at your funeral,” Rodney said. He immediately regretted it. “Sorry.”

Carson laughed. “Don’t be. It’s a fact. I had a funeral. I wonder if I’ll ever see them… I shouldn’t get my hopes up.” He shook his head and took a drink of his whiskey.

“I’m hoping,” Rodney said softly.

“Thank you,” Carson replied earnestly.

“You once said your mom practically raised you and your brothers all alone.”

“My father died of a massive heart attack when I was twelve,” Carson said, still looking out at the stars. “He was an immense man, huge to a wee lad. I thought he was a gentle giant. His hands were so big that my whole hand past my wrist would get swallowed up in his grip. Mom was like a petite flower by his side.

“We went to a wedding for some cousin on my father’s side. We were dressed in our Sunday best. My brothers were all agonizing because they knew they shouldn’t dare get the clothes dirty and that basically took the fun out of any activity they could conjure for themselves that day. I didn’t mind so much, especially with my mum fussing over me and calling me her handsome young man.

“We were at the reception when Da fell like a chopped tree. The other men at the wedding tried to save him. They did CPR. They did all they could.” Carson stopped and looked down into his drink. Rodney thought his eyes were shining brighter than usual. His voice grew thick with emotion.

“Most women would have been hysterical. Mum was scared, I could tell by the look in her eyes, but she refused to be anything less than a pillar for her boys. She held us to her as she watched her husband die.” Carson stopped there and rubbed his eyes dry.

“I’m so… sorry,” Rodney said because he didn’t know what else to say and he wanted to say something to let his friend know that he was there and he cared.

“I told her I would become a doctor a week after that,” Carson said. “I didn’t tell her it was because I never wanted to feel helpless again when someone I loved was dying.”

“I think she probably knew,” Rodney replied.

“Did Colonel Carter send my letter on to her?”

“First thing she did after we left the stasis gallery.”

“I told her in that letter,” he said. “I’m glad I got a chance to say somethings…” 

“You’ll get a chance to say more,” Rodney said with conviction. He looked Carson in the eyes.

Carson only smiled at him. He then picked up the whiskey bottle and freshened their drinks. They sat and enjoyed the whiskey for a little bit.

“Let’s talk about something better,” Carson suggested after he poured them a fresh round.

“Like what?” Rodney asked, sitting up a bit more in his chair as he felt himself slouching. “Like how you are trying to see me completely stumble-bum drunk for fun?”

“Thought I saw that last night,” Carson chuckled.

“I wasn’t that drunk,” Rodney protested.

“Then how come I know if it wasn’t for your right hand, your lad would see no action at all.”

“Did I say that last night!?” Rodney’s eye grew wide in shock and horror.

Carson laughed out loud. “I guess you don’t remember the conversation that you accidentally let go of the fact that you toss off at least three or four times a week these days.”

Rodney sat back in his seat, his mouth working in utter consternation. He very vaguely remember a bit of that conversation. 

“Not that there is anything wrong with that,” Carson continued pleasantly. “Masturbation is certainly healthy for a man who isn’t getting a regular leg over.”

“Must you couch it in such slang?” Rodney said looking a bit dismayed.

“What?” Carson laughed again. “I can do worse.”

“Don’t,” Rodney pleaded looking very uncomfortable.

“Shag.”

“Predictable,” Rodney said.

“Grab some gob.”

“Oh no…”

“Do the nasty. Bump uglies.”

“Carson stop!”

Carson laughed again and Rodney couldn’t stay disgruntled in the face of his friend’s absolute pleasure. Rodney smiled too, and then he laughed. Maybe not as loudly, but he laughed, and it felt real good. He watched Carson as he smiled looking back up at the night sky. This was really good.

He loved Carson.

It was the truth and it hit him like a feather wrapped in a wrecking ball. It un-made him. He began to see somethings in a light he had never seen them in before. He began to understand some of his more awkward motives in a way that was unexpected. Why did he and Katie fizzle out? Perhaps it was couched in the guilt of the true motive he had used her to ditch out on Carson’s fishing trip.

“Do the nasty? Bump what? Where in the hell did you learn all that?” Rodney asked incredulously.

“Lieutenant Ford,” Carson replied.

“Seriously?” Rodney gave him a half disgusted, half amused look.

“We would talk; especially when he came in for his quarterly mandatory Off-world military personnel health testing which included testing for STDs, and….”

“Wait! What?” Rodney reeled in surprise. “Who was he doing… and when?”

“Actually, I don’t know. It was none of my business. He was clean anyway. Probably shouldn’t have even told you that much.”

Rodney smiled, then he grinned and laughed. His heart was full to bursting. “You are my Carson,” he said a little breathlessly.

“Yours am I?” Carson said amused. 

Rodney suddenly felt uncomfortable. He hoped the darkness of the evening would hide the blush he knew was rising to his cheeks. He turned away to look out towards the river.

“You know…know what I mean,” he stuttered out.

“Maybe I do, Rodney.” It was said so softly and so kindly that Rodney had to turn to look at him.

Rodney was stunned into silence. He didn’t know how to put what he wanted to say into words. He was afraid.

“Is this the reason why you didn’t want to come fishing with me?”

Leave it to Carson to cut to the bone with the bare truth. Oh God, Rodney was beyond anxious, and felt in way over his head. He was terrified. No good ever came from these kinds of admissions in his life. His heart was about to be flayed open.

“You didn’t want to face what we could become,” Carson said plainly. 

“Well, I… and then there was you and…. Then Laura Cadman…. Well, we….” He stumbled all over his thoughts as his mind moved faster than his mouth could formulate complete sentences.

Carson smiled kindly, patiently. “It didn’t work out because our first kiss was shared through you. She began to realize it was more you than her that I responded to.”

Rodney’s mouth dropped open in utter astonishment. 

“Why?” he whispered.

“I thought you didn’t want to talk about it,” Carson said.

“Well, not in front of other people… like Sheppard and Elizabeth…. Especially Sheppard.”

“Do you want to talk about that now?” Carson asked, looking at him directly with his amazingly blue eyes that glowed true even in the starlight. 

“Oh wow,” Rodney murmured stunned.

Carson leaned closer from his chair and softly touched his lips to Rodney’s. It was the softest, sweetest kiss Rodney had ever experienced ever. His eyes fluttered shut as he felt Carson lean in for more. His lips were amazing and he taste sweet like the whiskey they were drinking. And he was so tender and gentle and amazing.

Then his lips were gone and Rodney opened his eyes to see Carson getting up from his chair. 

“Stay here, love,” He said and trotted back into the cottage. He came back a moment later with the throw blanket that had been on the couch. He spread it out on the ground. And arranged it, sitting the whiskey bottle off to the side.

He knelt down on the blanket. “Are you going to join me?”

Rodney actually considered protesting the idea of resting on the hard ground with only a blanket between his back and the lumpy earth. But then he looked in Carson’s eyes once more. He got up from his chair and went to him. 

As he sat down, putting his legs out before him, he noticed that the ground wasn’t as uncomfortable as he thought it would be. Carson stretched out next to him and for the moment they just looked into each other’s eyes.

“I really missed you,” Rodney whispered.

“I really missed you too,” Carson replied.

“Wow, the ground isn’t as uncomfortable as I thought it would be,” Rodney suddenly shared.

Carson laughed. “Maybe it’s the program. Maybe it’s Scotland.”

“Maybe it’s just being with you,” Rodney added softly.

Carson leaned I for another kiss. He pressed Rodney back to the blanket, stroking the side of his face with a gentle hand. Carson’s lips opened and his tongue ran along Rodney’s lower lip. Rodney responded accordingly, opening his lips to accept him. That was when the kiss spiraled out of control and Rodney lost all track of time. But what did it matter. Time was relative. Four days or two hundred and forty seconds didn’t matter as long as this was happening and was as real as their shared reality made it.

Rodney reached up to touch Carson face and smooth his fingers across his neck, brushing lightly at the edges of his hair. He needed that. He wanted to know it was real. He needed to feel him against his fingertips, solid, warm, and alive. This was the one human being in two galaxies he wanted to be with right now, and they were kissing! And Carson was incredible. He smelled like summer and musk. He tasted intoxicating. The very texture of his skin made Rodney’s fingers tingle. His body rested heavily against the side of Rodney’s and Rodney could feel his thickening cock against his thigh. Rodney’s own member was beginning to pulse and fill, aching with desire.

That was a delicious ache, and it was because it was for Carson. Carson was right. Maybe it had started with Cadman’s kiss. Maybe it started before. All he knew was that with all his being, he wanted this man kissing him now. He had lost him once. He would never lose him again.

The kiss ended and Carson lifted a little to look down at Rodney. His hand gently stroked back his hair. Rodney looked up into Carson’s incredible blue eyes, smiling into his.

“You’re so lovely,” Carson said.

“Me?” Rodney said on an incredulous laugh. No one had ever said he was lovely. No one other than himself had ever even called him reasonably good looking, at least not in seriousness.

“Aye, yes, you, with those amazing blue eyes and the adorable nose and those lips that need to be kissed.”

“Wow,” Rodney said again, and he meant it. 

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted you,” Carson said.

“Me?” Rodney said again, still quite disbelieving.

“Yes you,” Carson said. He then reached down and took hold of the fly of Rodney’s pants. Carson shifted himself downward as his hand unfasten Rodney’s trousers and slipped beneath the waistband. His hand smoothed down Rodney’s quivering flesh until it touched his solid and ready cock that practically surged into Carson’s sure grip. Rodney groaned helplessly as his hands flailed against the blanket. Then he lost all ability to coherently communicate when he felt Carson’s breath whisper against his hot hardness.

Carson took him into his mouth and Rodney’s tremendously intelligent brain went off-line. His back arched and he whimpered shamelessly into the night air. All he could process was the sensations of hot, wet, unequivocal pleasure, moving, moving, moving. Carson had him all of six seconds before he was coming like he had never come before. Sudden and startling, the orgasm was a complete revelation to his psyche and he gasped for air as his body was seized by its power.

Then it was slowing, fading and his body relaxed with a few little trimmers. He heard Carson chuckle softly.

“Sorry,” Rodney said reflexively. He lifted his head to look down at Carson who was gently massaging his relaxing cock with loose, careful strokes. Rodney was amazed by the man he had always thought he had known.

“Where did you learn to do that?” he asked breathlessly. Rodney was stunned. Carson had him panting like he had just done a Gate-sprint with a dozen Wraith at his back. Rodney was not a virgin, but his experience was slightly limited. He being who he was had narrowed the field for him. The one girl he had managed to get was never interested in doing more than the basics with him. That really wasn’t all her fault either.

Carson tucked him back into his boxers but left his fly open. “Same place I learned to drink.”

“College was a pretty exciting place for you,” Rodney declared.

“I suppose,” he said as he came back up to join Rodney. He reached over and took one of Rodney’s hand and placed it on the bulge in his own pants. “I don’t expect you to do all that, but can you return the favor?” he asked softly. “All I need is your hand, love.”

“Um…” Rodney was nervous, and he knew that much must have been obvious to Carson. Carson’s hand guided his hand to lay against the hard outline of his cock, still trapped in his pants. Then, ever so gently and briefly, Carson kissed Rodney on his lips.

“It’s all right, love. Easy-peezey.”

“I’ve never done anything like this before,” Rodney confessed. “Not that I haven’t wanted to… or thought about it… a lot.”

“I know,” Carson said as he continue to guide his hand, taking it over his erection in slow easy strokes. “Shh…,” he hushed Rodney and placed another small kiss on his lips. “Just like that,” he whispered.

He felt Carson thrusting up into his touch.

“Just like that, love,” he whispered again.

“Don’t you want me to…?”

“You’re fine,” Carson stopped his question. He was starting to sound a little breathless and his eyes were taking on a dreamy kind of shine. “This is all I want… So good,” he said in a breathless whisper as he looked Rodney directly in the eyes. “So beautiful.”

 _He really believes that,_ Rodney realized in wonder, _He thinks I’m beautiful!_ That realization alone strengthened Rodney’s resolve and he began to hold Carson’s clothing bound erection in earnest, while he looked into his eyes in absolute awe and adoration.

“Oh Rodney!” Carson cried out as his eyes slid shut and he surged hard against his hand. In about five or six hard thrust, Carson was coming, trembling from head to toe with the force of it. He then collapse into the blanket, his eyes opening dreamily to look at Rodney.

“But I really wanted to touch you,” Rodney complained softly.

Carson smiled. “Next time, love. I promise. Ah, but you could make me come in my pants again just by giving me that look you gave me there.”

“Look?”

“Aye, the one you just gave me before. The one like I’m the most incredible piece of ancient technology you have ever witnessed in your life. Like I’m a Zed-P-M times twenty.” Carson reached up and stroked Rodney’s cheek tenderly as they lay facing each other.

They were quiet for a little while, just lying there under the stars, catching their breath. Carson continued to lovingly stroke Rodney’s cheek.

“I never want to live without you again,” Rodney confessed softly.

The glow in Carson’s eyes turned troubled, but he didn’t speak. He just continued to caress Rodney tenderly. 

“Hey, are you getting cold?” Rodney said after a moment more. As the night wore on, a breeze had picked up from across the hill, making the air a tad chillier.

Carson smiled pleasantly. “Let’s go in then.”

They grabbed the glasses, the whiskey and the blanket but left the chairs outside. After dumping the blanket on the sofa and the whiskey on the table, Carson took Rodney by the hand and led him back to his bedroom.

“Get undressed, love,” Carson kissed him briefly as he let go of his hand. “I have to go to the loo. I’ll be back shortly.”

Rodney did as Carson suggested and stripped. He only hesitated for a second when he got down to boxer and a tee shirt. Then with decisiveness, he pulled off the shirt and pulled down the boxers. He took a deep breath and smiled a little at the accomplishment. He was going to do this. He was going to sleep with Carson Beckett. It was everything he never admitted to himself that he wanted.

Well, that wasn’t exactly true. What he had told Carson previously had been true. Rodney had wanted to and had thought about it a lot. He just never did it. Sex and personal relationships were not Rodney McKay’s forte. He knew they never would be. In navigating the mine field that was life, Rodney avoided the things that were not in his talent skill set. He also recognized how much easier socializing could be if he just pretended to swim with the current instead of against it. So he never talked much about what was really in his heart, and when pushed to declare in social settings he had given out the stereotypical answer: pretty, perky, blonde… preferably smart. It was easy. People took it on face value. It made life easier. It made bullies leave him alone. It gave him a certain level of acceptance that brought with it a few perks.

He realized that Carson never talked about having a type and the only girl he ever straight forwardly said was eye-catching was Teyla. He did give Laura Cadman a chance, but he must have known it was all for nothing. Rodney wondered if Carson played for the acceptance too. It really didn’t seem like it. He wasn’t afraid to get sentimental in front of people. He wasn’t afraid to cry.

Rodney had just taken a seat on Carson’s bed when Carson returned, naked and holding a bottle of water.

“Drink this.” He held it out to Rodney.

“But I’m not that drunk.” Rodney frowned slightly as he focused on the bottle. The frown disappeared into a look of stupefaction as he looked past the bottle and to the broad, strong chest, nicely covered and accented in dark hair that traced downward on his flat belly in a goody trail to fine black curls above his truly handsome cock.

“Trust me, Rodney. Just drink the water.”

“Uh-huh,” he said as he took the water bottle from Carson’s hand. His brain noted how powerful Carson’s thighs looked as they framed his gorgeous cock and balls.

“Why can’t I ever look that good naked,” Rodney absently protested in a small voice. 

Carson looked at him confused, but then laughed. “Obviously you haven’t been noticing yourself very well in a mirror, love.” He sat down next to Rodney. “Now drink your water like a good lad.”

When Carson was looking him so lovingly in the eyes like that, Rodney found it hard to not obey. He opened the water and began to down it.

“You’ll be a sight better for it in the morning,” Carson said.

“Did you drink some?”

“Before I came back in here, aye, I did,” Carson replied.

“Champion drinker.”

“And a fairly competent doctor who understands how alcohol works on a body.”

“Yes, a competent doctor who also spent his undergrad years in his school’s competitive drinking games team.”

“Just because I was the best at beer pong has more to say about my hand/eye coordination than my ability to drink.”

“You keep on believing that, my friend,” Rodney replied amused. He then finished off the water. “Satisfied?”

“Not quite yet,” Carson replied, but the look in his eyes had turned fiery. Carson took the bottle from Rodney’s hand as he advanced on him, pushing Rodney down on the bed.

Rodney was surprised, but pleasantly so. Carson dove in for a deep, sweet kiss as they tumbled back on the mattress. Rodney heard the empty water bottle hit the floor. Now Carson’s hand were on him. They were all over him, running over his shoulders and smoothing down his chest. One hand even reached beneath him to squeeze his butt cheek. 

Carson released the kiss and they came up for air, breathless.

“C’mer you,” Carson said in a sexy low growl as he took Rodney by the hands and guided him all the way on the bed. He laid them down facing each other, and Carson took another sweet kiss. That’s when Rodney noticed the minty freshness.

“You brushed your teeth.” Rodney frowned looking at the smugly smiling Carson. “No fair!”

Carson laughed. Then he kissed him again. He kissed him fiercely, like he had all the rights to Rodney’s mouth in perpetuity. Rodney moaned into the kiss as he felt himself melting to Carson’s will. Carson’s hands were on him again, making Rodney’s body tingle with rekindled desire. He fingered a nipple as he stroked through Rodney’s chest hair. His fingertips lightly traced down his chest and to his belly, causing Rodney’s abdominal muscles to contract on the erotic tickle. Rodney’s cock pulse to life, wanting to get in on the action.

Carson broke off the kiss with a small nip to Rodney’s lower lip.

“Here’s your big chance, love,” he whispered. He then took Rodney’s hand in his and guided down to his erection. Carson trembled and gasped as soon as Rodney’s hand touched.

Rodney took Carson’s hardening cock into his hand, marveling at how silky smooth his flesh felt. And his erection was getting heavier and heavier by the moment. Rodney had had only an sense of how massive Carson was when he grabbed him through his pants. Now he knew. Carson could boast a very impressive erection. 

Carson went back to kissing him again as Rodney found his bearings, wrapping his fingers around Carson’s hot, hardening shaft. He stoked it slowly and reverently. Carson’s hand took a surer hold about Rodney’s own erection. Their kisses became hungry as they continued. Then Carson was kissing and nipping Rodney on a line down his chin and against his neck. He stopped for a moment to suck softly at his pulse point. Rodney moaned in abandonment as his hips rocked into Carson’s loving grip. His own hand slowed on Carson’s cock as he was lost in the sweet pleasure of Carson’s attention.

But Carson only nipped at his shoulder a little harder and whispered encouragements.

“Come on, love,” he whispered. “Give it all to me… I’ve waited so long. Give me everything!”

“Everything…,” Rodney echoed. “Oh God, Carson…”

Rodney put his head against Carson’s shoulder, nuzzling against him. The smell of Carson’s sweat was erotic at that moment, and Rodney drank it in. Carson’s hand was moving faster on Rodney’s erection. Rodney got a hold of himself enough to adjust his grip on Carson and begin pumping him in earnest. His hand moved faster on Carson as he became lost in the sensations tingling though his body to settle at the base of is balls. Then Carson faltered; with his head flung back, he roared. Rodney watched in dazed wonder as Carson came, his eyes closed and his mouth open to admit such a stunningly beautiful cry of joy. His spunk flying up between them and coating Rodney’s hand, his own belly and Rodney’s belly. He was gorgeous. 

And as he panted, as Rodney pumped the last of the cum from him, Carson tenderly tightened his grip on Rodney and went back to work. It took Rodney by surprise, but he was pretty close. In a few firm strokes, it was Rodney’s turn the flash out in a bright orgasmic bliss. He didn’t roar, but he did gasp and moan. He closed his eyes as he felt them start roll back in his head. When he came to himself, Carson was still slowly but firmly pumping him dry. 

Then they were still for a long time. Rodney boneless and heavy with the need to just close his eyes and drift away into sleep. But he didn’t. He looked into Carson’s heavy lidded, content gaze. They just lay there, staring at each other. Then Rodney took a peek down.

They were a mess. They were a cum-y sticky mess, and Carson giggled.

“We need a clean-up,” he said.

“Ya think?” Rodney said sarcastically, frowning at the gooey mess between them. He wanted to be clean and comfortable again but it was such a bother to get up.

“Don’t be a baby about it,” Carson said, smiling at him. He then gave him a quick kiss. “Let’s just jump in the shower for a sec. I’ll wash your back.” He added promisingly.

“Oh?” Rodney looked hopeful.

~  
Carson was good on his promise and not only washed his back, but also washed his hair, messaging Rodney’s scalp with his firm, strong surgeon’s grip. Rodney closed his eyes, and leaned into his touch with a small, happy smile. No one had ever done that for him before and he was surprised to find that loving touch was heaven.

They came out, dried off and headed back to bed. Rodney landed face down, but moved over to make room for Carson. He felt the bed dip as Carson climbed on. A hand ran down Rodney’s spine starting at mid back and tracing downward tenderly. The hand ran palm-flat over the small of his back but then moved on to his buttocks with fingertips only.

“What’s this then?” His fingers traced over a small scar on Rodney’s left butt cheek.

Rodney lifted his head and looked back at Carson to see what he was referring to. “Arrow to the ass,” he replied. “Three stitches and two weeks’ worth of ‘pain in the ass’ jokes.”

“On a mission?”

“Yes,” Rodney frowned and turned away. “It wasn’t a pleasant one. We almost lost Ronan back to the Wraith who made him a runner in the first place. The idiots responsible for turning him over and planting an arrow in my ass all died because the Wraith don’t typically honor agreements… and we had that argument.” He added the last part in a fast mumble.

“I’m sorry, love.” A soft kiss landed on Rodney’s butt cheek, right on the scar. “But it all turned out all right,” Carson added. “You got Ronan back.”

“Thanks to you,” Rodney said as he turned over to his side to look at him. “You know, the other you.”

“You really don’t need to clarify. Just tell me what _I_ did.” 

“You killed the main Wraith responsible for taking Ronan to make him a runner again.”

Carson looked a little stunned. “I killed him?”

“Shoved a drone right up his ass… It was my idea… or maybe, more accurately, I was the inspiration. You were still pretty hot after that argument.”

“And I killed him,” Carson said in a slow measured tone of incredulity.

“Ronan was really grateful. The bastard was kicking his ass. We came in the nick of time like the cavalry charging over the hill.”

Carson shook his head in disbelief. 

Rodney sat up to face him. “Ronan never forgot what you did for him,” he said. “After that, there was nothing he wouldn’t do for you. He took it pretty hard when you died. I really wasn’t expecting that. He wanted to come with me to Scotland to bring you home but the SGC and the IOA wouldn’t allow it.”

“Explains the bear hug outside the stasis chamber,” Carson said.

“You know, at your memorial, I think the big guy cried.”

Carson looked distraught upon hearing about his friend’s pain. It confirmed to Rodney about how big souled Carson was. Rodney leaned to him and kissed him. It was the first time he ever initiated a kiss with him. And it was so very sweet, the way Carson leaned into the kiss and his lips, so soft, opened expectantly. Rodney looked at him after they stopped for a breath. He was so very in love with him.

“You’re amazing,” Rodney whispered.

“You’re looking me like _that_ again,” Carson replied smiling gently. “But maybe we should get a wee bit of rest before we fuck till our knobs fall off.”

Rodney laughed and looked suddenly shocked and disgusted at the same time. “You are unbelievable.”

“Lay back, love,” Carson said. “Let me hold you.”

Rodney did.


	3. Part Three

~  
Rodney awoke to the sound of rolling thunder. As he became more aware, he could also hear the sound of rain hitting the roof of the cabin in that comforting white noise kind of way. Rodney didn’t open his eyes, he just took in the sensation of a warm, heavy body spooning his back, an arm draped over his chest and a hand laying on top of his own. He could feel Carson’s chest expanded with every breath. He could feel his half hard cock rubbing against buttocks. One of Carson’s legs rested partially between Rodney’s thighs. Rodney was wrapped in a warm Carson, and, surprisingly, that felt incredibly good.

The thunder rattled the windows this time. Carson stirred behind him, his hand running up Rodney’s arm in a loving caress. 

“Mmmm,” Carson purred.

“It’s raining,” Rodney declared blurrily.

“Aye, lovely, innit?”

Rodney thought about that, wondering if he meant the sound of the rain was lovely or if he was being sarcastic in the fact that it would put a damper on their fishing plans. Or maybe he meant something else entirely. Rodney felt Carson’s cock twitch against him.

A soft kiss landed on the back of his neck and Carson’s hand began a slow stroke of Rodney’s side from shoulder to hip. Then there were more kisses to his neck and shoulder. Carson’s hand that was slightly under Rodney’s waist slipped out from beneath him. He settled it against Rodney’s buttock, rocking him a little forward. His other hand guided Rodney’s leg up and forward, opening him up to Carson’s caress. Carson ran his hand lightly over Rodney’s ball sack and perineum. Rodney’s cock made a surge towards full erection in two strokes. He was becoming breathless again and his hands gripped the pillow.

Then, ever so lightly, Carson placed a fingertip against Rodney’s opening and slowly traced the outside of ring in an easy caress.

“Oh!” Rodney gasped and his erection firmed. Carson kept it up, fondling balls, stroking perineum, and then fingering anus and back. All the while he continued to kiss and nibble lightly on Rodney’s neck and earlobe. Carson’s own erection was hot and heavy, trapped against Rodney’s thigh.

Then the hand was gone and Carson was moving.

“Wait here, love. Don’t move a muscle.” He kissed the side of Rodney’s face and got off of the bed.

Carson returned, laying behind him again and planted a small kiss just behind Rodney’s ear. One of his hands grasped his butt cheek and opened him a little more. Then the finger was back at his anus, but now it felt wet and slick and a little chilly, but the chill was only for a moment. Rodney flinched in surprise.

“Easy, lad,” Carson whispered gently against his ear.

The finger didn’t try to breach, not right away. It only smoothed the slickness over small puckered opening. It moved in slow, easy circles as Carson continued to kiss, lick and nibble every inch of Rodney’s skin he could get to. Then the finger pushed ever so slightly. It was startling but the pressure also felt amazingly good. It still was not attempting to breach. Carson began to do it in an easy slow rhythm. 

“Carson?” Rodney asked a little nervously. 

“Mm-hm.”

“Um… I’ve never…”

“I know, love.” Carson whispered. “We don’t have to if you don’t want to.” But he didn’t stop the gentle fuck like push of his fingertip against Rodney’s opening.

“I… I… um….”

The finger stopped and the hand traced back up the perineum and began to fondle Rodney’s balls once more.

“I wouldn’t lie to you and tell you I don’t want it,” Carson said softly against Rodney’s neck. He rubbed his head against Rodney’s skin. Rodney felt the rough texture of Carson’s morning stubble against his shoulder blades. “I want you,” Carson said.

He shifted his hips and Rodney felt Carson’s solid, hot member slip between his thighs, lightly brushing Rodney’s balls. Carson rocked his hips, increasing the friction between them.

“Oh God, you feel so good,” Rodney gasped.

“May I, love? Will you let me?”

“I don’t know… maybe?”

Carson chuckled softly. “I promise to make it good. I know I can.”

Rodney turned his head to look at Carson. Carson raised up a little so that they could look each other in the eyes. And Rodney knew that Carson knew that look would seal the deal. Rodney trusted Carson like no other person. Carson kissed his lips softly as he saw the yes in his eyes. Rodney settle back on the pillow more than a little nervous and wondering if he would regret this.

The finger was back and it was cool and slick again. It still didn’t breach, it just tickled and teased and tempted until Rodney was squirming against it and practically pushing back to deepen the connection. And it was on one of those squirming pushes that it actually broke past the ring of muscle.

It didn’t exactly hurt, but it felt slightly foreign and different. Rodney gasped and trembled in surprise. Then the finger slipped out and then it slipped back in again, this time pushing deeper, sliding on lubricant. It pulled out slightly and slid in again deeper and slow.

“That’s it, love,” Carson whispered. His next stroke sunk his finger to the last knuckle. Carson gave it a little twist and Rodney gasped as he tried to relax and adjust. 

“Hush now, love,” Carson whispered sweetly in his ear. He thrust his finger again and flexed it slightly. That time Rodney gasped because Carson nudged something inside him that ignited a concentrated flash of pleasure all through him.

“Carson!” he cried out.

“Good?” Carson asked softly.

“Oh God, yes!” Rodney answered as he trembled riding the pleasure caused by Carson’s lone finger. His head was thrown back and his eyes were closed as he rode it with abandon.

“You look so lovely, Rodney. I want to make you look like this all the time. I want to make love to you. I want all of you,” Carson whispered.

“Everything….” Rodney mouthed breathlessly.

Carson took out his finger, but it didn’t stay out for long. However, the finger returned with a second finger, both slicked and both relentless. They worked their way in stretching Rodney.

Lightening flashed against the curtains of the window over the bed and the thunder came with a bass boom and rumble that felt like it was connecting to the very bones of the earth. The power of the storm seemed echoed by the power of the things Carson was doing to him. Carson had control of him at this moment in time, and like the thunder, he was moving Rodney to his very core.

Then two fingers became three. Carson was careful and slow. He used more lubricant; probably too much as Rodney felt the excess wetness running in a small cool trail over his buttock and thigh. But the fingers going in stretched him even more. 

“Hush, love,” Carson soothed him gently as he worked his fingers with slow, deep thrust. 

Rodney’s head relaxed on the pillow and he breathed a trembling sigh. The three fingers withdrew, but it wasn’t long until a new visitor was coming to the opening. Rodney felt the blunt hot flesh against his hole, and it felt like a small fist at his entrance. He would have tensed, but Carson hushed him again with reassuring word. Then Carson’s cock penetrated. 

He was gentle and controlled, like he was before, moving in to Rodney in painstaking slowness. But Rodney could hear Carson’s rough breathing behind him. This was taking all of his control. He slid in, filling Rodney completely. It was a lot more uncomfortable than the fingers, and Rodney grimaced but tried his best to relax. That really took some effort on Rodney’s part. He was not renowned for his relaxing skills. But Carson was patient. He held still, sunk practically to the root inside Rodney. Carson reached up to stroke Rodney’s arm from shoulder to elbow. Rodney had a death grip on his pillow now.

“Hush, my bonny. I’ve got you. I promise…” Carson soothed. 

“Carson!” Rodney gasped, his eyes squeezed shut. “Despite your high-handed promise, this has ceased to be good!”

“Do you want me to stop?” Carson asked.

“I don’t know,” Rodney replied in a distress voice. “No, no… I don’t. I want….”

“Relax, I know it feels a wee bit tight now.” 

Rodney panted but tried to relax. And he thought about what Carson had said: it was tight. Rodney just had to think loose. He slowed his breathing and concentrated on relaxing and loosening up back there. Amazingly enough, it worked. The burn of it faded.

“That’s it, my sweet bonny lad,” Carson said. He then kissed Rodney shoulder blade as he gave him one shallow thrust. “Are you all right?” he asked.

Rodney nodded his head but didn’t open his eyes or stop clutching the pillow. Carson began a steady easy rocking that gave Rodney time to relax more and take in the sensation of fullness. Then the rocking became earnest thrusting, not hard or deep but just enough to really be fucking. It was here that Carson took hold of Rodney’s hips and slightly shifted his angle. With one good thrust, he touched that spot inside Rodney that made that flash tingle of intense pleasure race to his balls.

“Oh, oh!” Rodney cried out.

Carson stopped. “Are you OK, love?”

“Yes,” Rodney replied irritably. “Now shut up and do that again.”

He heard Carson chuckle softly, but he obeyed and did it again and again. It wasn’t long before Rodney’s hands relaxed their death-grip on the pillow and he opened his eyes. He was being fucked and he liked it. His flaccid cock began to firm once more. His eyes were half shut as he rode on the sensation. Soon he began to move a little with Carson, pushing a little back and down to try and deepen the connection. His breath came out in little sobs of pleasure. At one point he even surprised himself as he heard himself breathe out the word, “More!”

Carson kissed his neck and gripped his hips harder. “Touch yourself,” he whisper into Rodney’s ear.

Rodney turned his head to try and see Carson. He disengaged a hand from the pillow and reached under his lifted thigh and took hold of his aching erection. As soon as he started to pump, he felt the power of the counter point motion that brought pure bliss. . His head fell back with a desirous groan as he was undone by the mounting promise of ecstasy. His hand moved faster and faster. Then the spark ignited and he flamed in pleasure, with his mind disengaging from rationality as he rode on the wave of an incredible orgasm. It rocked him to his core. He could hear himself shouting Carson’s name over and over. Then it was his turn to roar.

Then a new sensation joined the ecstasy as Carson rammed his cock home in Rodney’s flailing body. He froze there, grasping Rodney’s hips with a grip that was sure to leave bruises. Then warmth entered Rodney’s body, and Carson was shuddering in a disjointed rhythm against his buttocks. They came down from that unimaginable high together, out of breath and monumentally sated. 

Another Gate-run, Rodney thought as his eyes closed. Then he was sound asleep.

~  
Rodney woke up and wondered if it was late morning or early afternoon. It was hard to say. The light through the window curtains was darker than normal for either time of day. Carson was still behind him, seriously asleep emitting soft, deep snores. His hand rested easily over Rodney’s waist. He was no longer inside Rodney, but Rodney could distinctly feel the soreness of where he had been. It also felt very wet. Rodney was experiencing what it was like to sleep in the wet spot.

Rodney frowned and lifted his head. He was sore, he was hungry, he was distinctly uncomfortable and he had to pee. He slipped out from Carson’s loose embrace and slipped off the end of the bed. He only looked back at Carson for a moment to make sure he didn’t wake him, the Rodney went to the bathroom.

When he came back, relived and a little less messy, he found Carson waking on the bed, stretching, with his arms up and his hands and feet flexing. The action reminded Rodney a little of something his cat, Dirac, would do. Carson yawned and then looked up at him.

“When’s breakfast?” He asked pleasantly as he placed his hands behind his head and lounged back languidly. “I made it yesterday. Now it’s your turn.”

Rodney looked the man over with a scowl and then turned and left the bedroom again.

~  
When Rodney emerged from his own room in a bathrobe, he found Carson in the kitchen next to the gurgling coffee maker wearing only a pair of sweat pants. Rodney stomped past him looking like he was only just awake. He searched the cabinets and came up with two bowls. He sat them with a thump on the table. He then went to the pantry. After a moment of pushing cans and boxes around, he came back with a box of Fruity-Os cereal. He poured some into each of the bowls. After placing the box in the middle of the table, he passed Carson again on his way to the refrigerator where he retrieved the milk. He put that on the table too, next to the cereal box. He grabbed two spoons from the silverware drawer and slammed them on to the table next to each bowl. 

Rodney then pulled out a chair at the table and very carefully and slowly sat down with a grimace and a hiss of discomfort. However, once he was settled in his seat, he breathed out a sigh and slumped glumly over his cereal.

Carson was pouring a cup of coffee and watching him. “Sore, aye. Sorry, love.”

“Well, it was better than an arrow in the ass,” Rodney said as he picked up his spoon and dumped it in the dry cereal. “But not by much, mind you.” He leveled an indignant look at Carson.

Carson sat the fresh cup of coffee by Rodney’s bowl. “You would think, beings this is a virtual reality, you could just edit out the unpleasant bits.”

“Well, it’s supposed to mimic life as much as possible. Anything less would tap the subconscious,” Rodney answered in a tired, condescending voice.

“That probably wouldn’t be a good thing,” Carson said as he filled a cup of coffee for himself. He joined Rodney at the table.

“No, not unless you like acid trip reality. Then maybe yes,” Rodney went on acerbically. “Pick your sky color, watch the trees walk and the colors on the flowers run… maybe paint a masterpiece worthy of Salvador Dali.” 

He looked over to see Carson giving him that loving little smile that Rodney could remember seeing before on his friend. It was a smile of acceptance and affection. Carson loved him just the way he was; no need to change or grow or anything. 

Rodney picked up the milk jug and opened it. “Shall I pour,” he asked in a sarcastically haughty tone.

“Please,” Carson replied with a small laugh.

Rodney poured.

“So, what you did to me this morning, you learn that in college too?”

Carson laughed a little harder. “As a matter of fact, yes.”

“I should have gone to Glasgow,” Rodney complained. “Or maybe not. Too many distractions. Not that I couldn’t handle distractions better than the average….”

“I only did post-doctoral work at Glasgow,” Carson corrected. “I went to St Andrew’s for my undergrad and medical degree.”

“Amazing,” Rodney said around a mouthful of cereal. “Beer pong at the oldest university in Scotland.”

“Who do you think invented bloody beer pong?”

“They were setting the bar low those days. How did you manage to graduate after blowing out so many brain cells?”

“As you can see, I had plenty to spare. Should have seen the look on my Landlady’s face on graduation day when my flat mates and I left to go to the ceremony in honors robes.” Carson smiled at the memory.

Rodney rolled his eyes in disapproval. “Now see, I kept to the books, no binge drinking, no crazy partying…”

“No bloody fun,” Carson added for him.

“I graduated summa cum laude,” Rodney replied proudly.

“So didn’t I,” Carson said. “Well, Primi Ordinis, actually.”

“I would have been my college department’s valedictorian at Cornell, but they settled the three way tie based on the candidate’s record of community service,” Rodney added.

“Oh, that’s too bad,” Carson said in mock pity. “I’m sure being salutatorian was just as nice.”

Rodney scowled and muttered angrily, “I didn’t even get that.”

Carson gave a swift peal of laughter that he quickly muffled, closing his mouth and covering it with his hand.

“Go ahead and laugh,” Rodney said sourly. “Big deal, lead the class in at commencement. It’s a useless tradition. Who the hell gives a damn for a stupid ritual in a stupid ceremony that was made for parents to get their fill of parental self-satisfaction for footing an outrageous bill wasted mostly on mediocrity? ”

“Sorry, love. I shouldn’t laugh,” he said. But he still chuckled lightly. 

“I seriously hate you again.”

“If only you had just once joined in on a fund raiser.”

“Screw you.”

“Or given to the poor.”

“I’m ignoring you now.”

“Or tutored some children.”

“You know that children and I don’t mix… generally,” Rodney snapped. “And while little do-gooders like you and those two sycophants at Cornell were wasting your time trying to save the children, I was focus on trying to do the real work that would one day save the world.” 

“OK, Rodney,” Carson said in a kinder, consoling tone. “I’m sorry.”

Rodney looked up into Carson’s smiling gaze, so full of affection for him. 

“I was only playing,” Carson said. “I know you were doing your very best.” Carson reached out and touched the side of his face, running his hand along his jawline and resting it on the back of his neck.

“The world sometimes doesn’t recognize true genius… at least not right away,” he said. He then pulled Rodney towards him and their lips met in a quick, soft kiss. Carson then let him go and picked up his spoon.

“Thank you for breakfast,” Carson said as he scooped up his first bite.

~  
It was a gray, wet day, much colder than yesterday. Rodney threw on some clothes and went to the out building to check the generator. The misty rain turned into a full shower as he was returning. He came inside, shivering a bit to find Carson working on building a fire in the fire place. 

“You know what you’re doing there, Smokey?” Rodney asked as he came over to watch him.

“Contrary to your belief, I know how to build a fire. I have built fires in both campfire rings and fireplaces.”

“And maybe a few rubbish fires in college.”

“I was never a randomly destructive drunk,” he protested lightly. 

Regardless, Carson got a nice blaze going in the fireplace and the two men decided a little quiet time was in order. They both picked out books and sat in the easy chairs by the fire with their feet up. Rodney was very glad he thought to stock the virtual reality cottage with a good selection of reading material. He knew Carson enjoyed the classics, but Rodney like more contemporary stuff like Stephen King and Neil Gaiman. 

They read most of the afternoon until Carson got up, stretched and persuaded Rodney to join him for a make-out session on the couch. It was just getting really hot and good when Rodney’s stomach growled very loudly.

“What?” Rodney said defensively. “It’s been a while since breakfast.”

They went to the kitchen and made BLTs together.

After that, they sat down on a hearth rug by the fire and played backgammon for a while. Rodney was accumulating an impressive number of wins.

“Backgammon is a game of strategy and luck, my friend,” he said. “Luck of the dice and the strategy of simple mathematics.” 

After hearing enough of Rodney’s smug boasting after every win, Carson suggested a different game.

“How about poker?”

“Um… no.”

“Why?” Carson asked. 

“It’s a game invented by vacuous people to pretend that luck is actually a skill. Besides, I learned to Play it with Sheppard, Ford and some of the airmen a while ago and I didn’t care for it.”

“They stripped ya blind,” Carson chuckled.

Rodney frowned. “No! It wasn’t as bad as that.”

“Those sharks have been fleecing the non-military sheep of the mission for as long as I can remember,” Carson said.

“Did they get you?”

“No, I could smell their scam a mile away, and they took Dr. Wagoner and a few lab techs for about a month’s pay.”

“Why didn’t you warn me?” Rodney asked.

“I did. You weren’t listening that day,” Carson answered.

“Hm…” Rodney sat back thoughtfully and wondered how many time he had effectively tuned Carson out in the past. He wondered how much he had missed.

After dinner, they finally decided to play a trivia game, which was the only other board game they found in the cottage’s closets. They played that until another strong thunder storm rolled through. After that, they got naked and went to bed, holding each other, touching, and making out as they enjoyed the storm.


	4. Part Four

~  
Rodney awoke to day four in Carson’s arms. The sun was shining bright through the bedroom window curtains. The storms of yesterday were gone. He watched Carson sleep and felt very very blessed.

When Carson finally woke, they made scrambled eggs and toast, and then went for a walk together through the trees and along the river. Fishing was never mentioned. 

They packed a few sandwiches and some beers and headed up to the hills where the heather flowers were in glorious bloom. They sat in the tall grass on the slope and looked down at the river valley as they ate their lunch.

“How did your mother do it? Seven boys, by herself!” Rodney asked, baffled.

“Not all of us were boys,” Carson replied.

“I thought you had brothers.”

“Not the baby. Beth is the youngest.”

“I don’t recall meeting her when I met your mother,” Rodney said.

“You probably did,” Carson said. “She’s a timid little thing; not likely to speak up. She should be well out of college by now, about twenty five.”

“There was a girl there, with your family,” Rodney recalled. “She stayed in the background. I thought she was a cousin maybe. Really pretty girl, petite with long black hair and blue blue eyes….” He then looked into Carson’s blue blue eyes and realized what he had missed. “Oh. How didn’t I see that?”

“Were they well?” Carson asked. “Other than the grieving, were they all right?”

Rodney looked away from Carson and frowned. It was hard to tell Carson about the profound sadness of his loved ones at his own funeral. There was no other way to express what he had witnessed. 

“They… loved you a lot,” Rodney said on a soft slightly broken tone.

From the short amount of time Rodney had spent with the Becketts, he had learned that Carson had been the prodigious big brother that all the other siblings looked up to. He had stepped up when his father had died to help keep his family from falling into emotional chaos. He had been the strong one.

Rodney wished he could have been the strong one when his parents had died. He had tried to be the strong one, but Jeannie was too much her own person. She only saw her big brother’s attempt to be there for her and guide her as meddling and condescending interference. What should have been bonding experiences dissolved into bitter arguments and eventually estrangement.

“Enough about that,” Carson said gently. “Why don’t you tell me something about your college days? I didn’t know you went to Cornell as an undergrad.”

Rodney smiled and looked up, thankful for Carson’s unerring sense of timing to change the direction of the conversation. 

“I only went because of my high school math teacher, Mr. Hartman,” Rodney said. “The whole school knew the only reason I was being forced to remain was because my parents didn’t believe in skipping grades. My dad finish high school early and said he was miserable for it. He almost didn’t finish college because he hated it, and I don’t think the problem was academic.”

“It can be tough on children not emotionally ready for such a big transition,” Carson said.

“Well, then I can thank my father’s lack of emotional maturity for four years of undiluted hell.” Rodney picked a blade of grass as he tried not to resent his father. He recalled that his parents try to do what was best for their children, and although he knew his parents hated each other, there was no doubt that they loved and were proud of Rodney and Jeannie. 

“Mr. Hartman and Mr. Bell, the school’s science teacher, knew that the curriculum was idiotically beneath my potential. They gave me extra projects and independent study time to try and keep me challenged. Mr. Hartman had a master’s degree in mathematics from Cornell. He encouraged me to apply to their program and sent along a letter of recommendation with my applications. I got a full scholarship. That’s when I felt like my life truly began. Without my dad regulating my school life, I could take it as fast as they could throw it at me, and that was pretty damn fast.” 

“Impressive,” Carson said. “Where did Jeannie decide to gain her undergraduate degree?”

“UBC,” Rodney said. “In Vancouver. They had a pretty good math program and she was riding a wave.”

“Then she met her husband?”

“Actually, she met him when she started grad school at Caltech. She dropped out after her master’s to marry him.”

“You didn’t approve, I know,” Carson said.

“Well, why should she dump a brilliant career to be the wife of some English scholar? It was the most monumental waste of talent I ever witnessed….” Rodney stopped and thought about it. “But you know, she’s happy. She’s really happy. And I have a niece.”

“I did know that,” Carson said smiling. 

“Yeah, she’s four years old and smart! Full of personality. You’d love her.”

Carson chuckled as he watched Rodney dolt on his niece.

“But you have to bring gifts,” Rodney explained. “You don’t just show up for visits without a gift. The kid knows how to angle for the advantage.”

“Very clever.”

“Do you have any nieces or nephews?”

Carson laughed. “I have eight! Well at least last I knew….”

Rodney shook his head in incredulity. “You Beckett are all about reproduction.”

“Jamie, the elder of the twins has twin boys of his own and one girl. Conner and his wife just had a girl before I left for the mission. By the time we contacted earth again, they had had a boy and another girl, and Bryce, the second to the youngest, had twin girls.”

“You don’t just reproduce, you have litters!” Rodney announced. 

“The grand babies are what make mum happiest. She always hinted at the fact that I was slacking on that front.” 

“Well, I suppose you never told her about everything you learned in college.”

“If you are implying that I never came out to her, you’d be wrong. She knew I swung both ways,” Carson explained somewhat proudly.

“You have got to be kidding me.” Rodney gave him a look of sheer disbelief. “I couldn’t even contemplate telling my mom… let alone my dad! He flipped out once when I was seven and said I wanted to be an actor!”

Carson grabbed Rodney’s hand. “Well, those days are over, aren’t they, love. I’m sorry you thought your parents would have disagreed with you, but now you can be who you want to be. No one should hold you back. And I for one think you could have been a fair actor.”

“Just fair?”

“Well, Rodney, you do have a problem at being a convincing liar,” Carson teased.

“Hey, I nailed it in my second grade production of the ‘Happy Fir Tree.’ I was the fir tree,” Rodney defended smugly.

Carson laughed, the sound pleasant and rich in the spring air like a song. His crystal blue eyes sparkle with mirth. And Rodney sat in awe again. He thought about how much time had he wasted, knowing in his heart that he had wanted Carson. He thought about how he had lost him for what could have easily been forever. He marveled at the knowledge that his second chance had come with so very much more than he expected or deserved.

“I’m sure you were a right bonny tree at that,” Carson said.

“You’re amazing,” Rodney said on the end of a breath.

“You’re looking at me like that again.”

“Can’t help it,” Rodney replied.

Carson shook his head amused. He then grabbed for Rodney’s fly and undid it swiftly. He reached deftly into his boxers and pulled out Rodney’s cock as he lowered his head to take him into his mouth. That took Rodney a little by surprise, but to his credit he lasted longer than the first time Carson took him in his mouth.

This time Rodney got to really enjoy it, sitting there on the hillside with his face tilted towards the afternoon sunlight. One of Carson’s hands slipped under his shirt and finger tips brushed lightly over Rodney’s nipples. Carson certainly knew what he was doing in this arena, and he left Rodney trembling and sweating when he was done.

“I will never get tired of you doing that to me,” Rodney declared.

~  
That night, their last night together, Rodney cooked dinner. He surprise Carson in that regard. Carson had not realized that Rodney McKay could cook.

“You follow a recipe,” Rodney shrugged. “How hard is that? I may not be interested enough to create like a five star chef but I am capable of repeating results. Besides, you knew I liked eating.”

“Logical, I suppose,” Carson said.

After dinner, they didn’t waste any more time. They got naked and they got into bed. This time it was Rodney who brought on the alcohol. He brought a bottle of wine and two wine glasses. The talked and kissed and touched.

“You know,” Rodney said a bit nervously. “I don’t know how to… you know… pleasure you orally? I don’t know if I can learn…”

Carson kissed him. “You don’t have to.”

“But you do it so well to me. I thought maybe you’d want me to pleasure you back.”

Carson took Rodney’s hand and placed it on his erection. Carson then began a slow, sweet rocking into his grasp.

“This is all I need from you, love,” Carson said, looking into his eyes. “Just touch me. I love the way your hands feel on me… Those quick talented fingers…”

Rodney took hold of Carson and began to pump him firmly. Carson pushed back up into his grip.

“Yes! Hold me, love,” Carson whispered fervently. “Take it out of me! Make me come. Make me your own!”

Rodney watched Carson who was growling so passionately, carried away on the sensation. His legs were thrown open and his back was slightly arched against the bed. The large muscles of his hips, thighs and butt were flexing in a powerful rhythm. One hand held on to Rodney’s shoulder while the other clawed at the bed sheet beneath him. He looked so sensual and sexual and everything provocative, it was hard to reconcile the picture to that of his sweet, dear Carson, nice guy, good friend, and caring physician. And yet here they were, and Rodney was feeling the hunger of wanting to watch Carson’s orgasm. He did every little masturbation trick he knew, and he knew quite a few. Most of them got positive results, a few of them got wildly positive results. 

The best one made Carson roar again. Cum splash all the way up to between his nipples. Rodney felt like a conqueror. He was a conqueror with a raging rampant boner at that moment, but he was still a conqueror.

Then Rodney the Conqueror was pushed back on the bed and sucked off to within an inch of his life.

Then they cleaned up a little, and laid back together, holding each other. They sipped more wine as they cuddled.

“This is it?” Carson said.

“Yeah,” Rodney replied. “Maybe I can get away for another four minutes next week…”

“You have work to do.”

“It’s just four minutes,” Rodney said.

“It maybe the four minutes you need to figure something out that will save everyone on the mission.” Carson stroked his face. “I won’t be that distraction.”

“Well, I promise you, next legitimate day off I get, I’m all yours.”

Carson smiled.

~  
Rodney didn’t remember when they fell asleep, but he knew the stasis simulation had probably ended only after they had nodded off some time during their last night together. He came to himself slowly, but when he finally did come completely aware, he felt all his muscles give out at once. He almost fell out of the chamber and onto the floor, but he managed to catch himself. He stood before the chamber with his arms and legs feeling all pins and needles. He rubbed his arms briskly to help increase the blood flow. He then picked up and looked at his watch that he had left just outside the chamber and near the control interface. Total time expired, four minutes and fifteen seconds. 

Rodney went around to the front of the stasis gallery and looked up at Carson. There he was, still frozen in suspended animation in the white infirmary pajamas, his light blue eyes looking out ahead. Rodney tried hard not to sigh. Instead he checked the stasis chamber’s system and power regulation. Everything was still good.

~  
Two weeks later

Rodney had not caught another chance to spend time with Carson like he wanted, but he often volunteered to go down and run the routine maintenance on his stasis unit. He often took the time to talk to Carson, tell him what was new and happening in the Pegasus galaxy. He always made sure he told him that he missed him and that he loved him. He told him that he would never waste their time together again.

He had just finished running the diagnostic and telling Carson about the latest non critical mission news. He was about to tell Carson how very much he missed him when Jennifer Keller walked in.

“Hey,” She said cheerfully from behind him.

Rodney jumped slightly and turned to look at her.

“How’s our patient?” She asked.

“Oh, um… just checking the system,” Rodney said. “We had a few power surges in sectors around here, it could have damage conduits that run near this interface.”

“I see,” She said nodding her head pleasantly at him.

“Well… well… I’m done here,” he stated. He tried to look nonchalant. “Carry on.”

He headed for the door.

“Bye,” she said smiling.

He turned back and waved briefly, but before the doors shut behind him, he looked up into Carson’s blue blue eyes. 

End


End file.
